Memoir of a Hasn't Been Part 2: I Have A Confession!

I have a confession. I didn't really put the 'Write a plan to write "A Memoir of a Hasn't Been" item' on my to do list. I do plan to do it. But, it just hasn't happened yet!

I got a bit overwhelmed after I wrote my last blog.

It's what often happens when I get all excited about a new idea, commit it to a blog and then share it on social media and 160 people read it, some of whome write encouraging posts back about the idea. In so doing, an obligation is created. I try and avoid obligations.

Anyway, it got me thinking that perhaps, before I tackle the memoir, I need to create a new list. It will be called my "things that I have avoided to do" list. First thing I'll put on that list is Chrissy Amphlett.

She was at Southbank finishing up a photoshoot. I remember she was wearing a striking purple and white striped suit and I was struck by how tiny she was. You know how famous people look familiar but you can't quite place them for a moment. I was about 5 feet away from her before I realised it was CHRISSIE AMPHLETT!

Panic set in immediately. I DID NOT KNOW what to do. Should I get her autograph? Should I cry and stammer out an "I love you, Chrissie"? Should I go and tell her that I sometimes perform her song, "Boys in Town" and offer to sing her a rendition?  Should I genuflect? Should I act cool and greet her like an old friend? What? What? What?

Well, I did the only thing that any panicked fangirl would do, I turned around and walked the other way. Quickly. But, when I turned to check that I was well out of her orbit, there was Chrissie following behind me.

Quick. I dashed up some stairs to safety.

Wait!

What?

Yep.

I did the same thing today. I walked right past American Blues guitar player, Chris Cain, who I saw at the Sydney Blues and Roots Festival yesterday rocking the main stage. He was also small and wearing stripes. This afternoon, he was walking down Market Street West in Richmond, NSW, in the opposite direction to me. I'm sure he would have liked a "nice set, yesterday" as we passed each other. Then, perhaps, we could have stopped to talk and maybe organised a guitar lesson this afternoon. After that, we could have gone to dinner and discussed the memoir I was writing called, "Memoir of a Hasn't Been." He could have had a chapter.

Instead,  like Chrissie, I'll be adding him to my "things that I have avoided to do" list.

Along with: buy a set of windscreen wipers, fill in a lodgement of protest form for a toll road fine that I don't believe I should have to pay, write back to a new friend who sent me a photo 6 weeks ago of me picking guitar on The Canning Stock Route, send back music festival administration information and email some students information about a couple of gigs I have booked for them.

It's actually fortunate I didn't buy a set of windscreen wipers as mine were easily fixed so avoiding that "to do" item saved me a few bucks. The bucks I saved paid for a new usb cable which I lost while I was working through my "things that I have avoided to do" list and the pricey organic vegan food I had for lunch.

Today, rather than fulfil my obligations, I went to the library and finished the first draft to the first act of a musical play I've been avoiding writing for months.

Here's a Canning Stock Route sunset:

'A Memoir of a Hasn't Been.'

I've been thinking about writing a memoir called "A Memoir of a Hasn't Been." The idea is simple. It would be a witty look at my past musical collisions with people who went onto become successful artists while I didn't. Don't worry, I wouldn't allow it to sink into maudlin examinations of "Why me?',  I just think it would be interesting.

So how should I present the memoir? I've entertained the thought of producing it as a podcast. But, I'd have to go and do a course and I don't really have time because I'm so busy working two jobs, talking about being a singer/songwriter, checking facebook, watching catch up TV, playing house, socialising with family, friends and my boyfriend, oh, and practicing guitar and ukulele.

Perhaps I could just get someone to produce it. But, that would cost money and then I would have to write a script. I'm still trying to write a script for another project I'm working on which I've been avoiding for quite some time now.  What if no one from my musical past gives me permission to write about them? Hang on, I have to get permission. Bloody hell!

Ok, so maybe a blog. A 500 word memory uploaded each week for a year.  The "write one blog entry a week" item has appeared on my weekly to do list for months now. There's also the question of how to attract subscribers to follow the weekly blog entries. To be honest,  I'm very uncomfortable asking people to follow me. I'm a bit shy (ok, very), not that interesting and therefore not particularly deserving of attention.
 
Ok, perhaps it would be better as a book. My healthy overblown, imaginative ego thinks it's a great idea and is convinced it will be signed by an urban publishing house endorsed by the left wing intelligentsia of Melbourne. I've already plotted the entire memoir in my head.  I've imagined the accompanying show which will include me sharing the stage with some of the amazing musicians I write about. In my mind, the show is a terrific success and the book becomes a bestseller. The accompanying youtube channel with 52 duets of me and each musician has gone viral and my ego is loving the irony of a success that means it's no longer a "hasn't been".

All of these ideas were thought out while I walked to my day job between the office in North Melbourne and the activities program in Elizabeth Street. I work three days a week to pay rent and bills before I go to my three evenings a week job where I teach music for a few hours. The other four days a week, I imagine what I could do if I didn't have to work three days a week. That leads me to imaginary touring and youtube channels again.

Ok. So what if I actually did it? What if I actually wrote a memoir with accompanying show and youtube channel?  I've read enough time management self help books to know that the best way to fulfil your goals is to make them measurable and achievable and there's a few other things that they have to be which I can't recall right now.  I also know that it's important to make a plan. Create a timeline for the plan.  Write a list of tasks for each section of the timeline to achieve the plan. OK.

Here's the first task which I have added to my weekly "to do" list:

Write a plan to produce "A Memoir of a Hasn't Been" with accompanying show and youtube channel and record the journey on a weekly blog.

Helen 

Here's a song: 
West Brunswick

Here's a picture to look at while you listen to the song: